I came across this lovely gem of a photo thanks to Facebook’s Memories feature, and just feel like my face captures so much of early motherhood:
The first thing I see in this photo (besides that pretty little squish with her signature mohawk hairdo) is my facial expression. It says, “I’m here! I showered! I may not have any makeup on, my eyebrows may be almost invisible (thank you 90’s over-plucking popularity), but my hair even looks decent. I’m with people I love, and I really am happy.
However… I’m also dying a little inside because my 7 month old never lets me put her down without screaming like I’m murdering her (oh, except for the approximate 30 minutes a night she allows me to sleep uninterrupted).”
Been there? Maybe not exactly, but have you had those seasons? The ones where you feel like you’re barely hanging on, and yet – somehow – you are still expected to function like a responsible adult and do things like feed your family, pay your bills, make sure people have clothes to wear that are not covered in grass, dirt or some unknown substance that we won’t focus on for too long…
I know you feel me.
These seasons are often referred to as “Survival Mode.” They happen. It’s inevitable. No matter how we prepare, they still come about, and THAT IS OK.
There’s a quote that says, “It’s ok to not be ok. It’s not ok to stay that way.”
I am a firm believer that Survival Mode is real, but should not be an excuse for years-long avoidance of responsible adulthood.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that things aren’t hard for some longer than a few months. They are. Absolutely, they are.
The thing is, as adults, we still have to figure out a way to function responsibly even THROUGH the survival times we face.
Best way to make “Responsible Adulting” a reality in those seasons of overwhelm, exhaustion and/or chaos?
Rhythms.
Routines.
Systems.
Whatever you want to call them, they are what make things work even when we are at our “worst.”
Let me give you some examples from my own life:
- Meal Planning/Grocery Shopping happens every Sunday and sets us up with everything we need for the week. Once a month (ideally before the end of the month) I do a full inventory of our fridge/freezer/pantry and loosely plan for the upcoming month (which is the key to making the weekly planning sessions take only 5 minutes or less)!
Need a free resource to help you do this more efficiently? My FREE Monthly Meal Planning templates are available to walk you through the steps I take each month (the exact method I have used for over a year now to save over $500 EACH month on our grocery budget). - Budget Check-ins (itemizing spending, marking auto bill pays and paychecks deposited, etc.) happens Mondays and Fridays. This way we know exactly how much we have left in each category before the weekend comes upon us (this is when we usually spend the most).
- Laundry: the kids separate their own dirty clothes into “darks” and “lights” when they take them off, and in the mornings I can grab one load of wash (lights, darks, towels, microfibers, etc.) and start the machine while we go through our morning of getting ready for the day.
When we get home that evening I can switch the laundry over to the dryer and have it run while we do dinner and bedtime. By the time the kids are in bed, AP and I are ready to wind down, and if we are watching a show together, I bring the load of laundry into the living room and most of the time we tackle it together (which takes like 3 minutes). Even when I do it alone, it’s only one load, so it’s super quick and painless.
The next morning, I will drop off their clean clothes in their rooms when I wake them, and ask them to put them away before coming to breakfast. I have them sorted into piles to make it as easy as possible for everyone. They simply pick up their pile of socks: put them in the drawer. Pick up their pile of underwear: put it in the drawer. Pick up their pile of pants, put it in the drawer.
For shirts, we hang all of them, so I just have them hang up their shirts after school if it is a large enough pile that it will take them a while. Otherwise, they can just knock it all out at once, and we are good to go. - Mail: Each day when I check the mail, I sort through the stack BEFORE taking into the house. Everything that is junk mail gets dumped into the outside recycling bin without ever even coming into our house. Once the necessary mail comes inside, it is open IMMEDIATELY and put where it needs to go.
A few months ago I shared a video on my Instagram stories showing how I handle our house paperwork organization, but Instagram was being a turd-bucket, and wouldn’t let me save it!
So… I’m planning to re-record a walk-through of our household paperwork organization in the next week or two, so make sure you’re following along on Instagram so you can catch that. Hmm… or should I maybe do a Facebook Live to show you that?
Comment below you have a preference – I’d love to know what you’d prefer!
You get the idea. I could go on, but I’ll spare you (for now).
What are the areas of your adult life that you feel like throw you into the never-ending loop of failure? You know the one I mean?
It’s the stuff that you feel like you can NEVER get on top of – the stuff that ALWAYS has to happen, and you rarely feel like you get everything else done in enough time to tackle it again before it becomes a mountain of a task?
Dishes? Laundry? Meal Prep? Paying Bills? Working Out? Washing your hair?
I mean, really and truly I’d love for you to reply and let me know those things for you in the comments below – I’m working on a piece of content right now that I’d love to make sure covers a lot of these things for mamas like us!
I want to help you make 2020 the year that you start to feel like a BOSS instead of a worker bee. What do you say – are you with me?? SAY YES!! 🙂
