Last week I had a DM conversation inside Instagram, and it was one that made me think, “If she has these questions, I’ll bet she’s not alone in her wonderings!”
So I’d like to share what we discussed with you here. Cool? Great.
Her questions were these:
- Are you debt free aside from your mortgage?
- If so, what is your motivation for frugal spending? Is it because of a frugal upbringing (or in spite of your upbringing, maybe)?
She shared that for her, she knows that before she can truly get “on board” with some things, she really needs to fully understand them and know that they are “just” and “right.” She’s a “questioner.” When she feels those questions are answered, she can move forward with fervor (any other enneagram 1’s out there? I’m a 7, but I’m married to a 1)!
She admitted that she knows she needs to move forward, and that she has some action steps to take from my past teaching, but she was feeling “stuck” in overwhelm.
She knows she needs to make changes in their spending/budgeting, but she admits that she allows other things to become priority.
Anyone else feel “seen” here? I’m raising my own hand, for sure! I definitely understand the place she’s coming from!
So let me just share with you my response to her. Maybe this will spark some conversations/questions in your mind. Feel free to reach out about any of it! I love talking this stuff through with you (literally just had a 1 hour fifteen minute conversation with a good friend just yesterday talking through all of her current budgeting/money questions that were floating around in her head)!
I’m here for you, friend.
My Response:
For me, I was raised in a pretty frugal home, but we didn’t really discuss money other than “we don’t have the money for that,” so I think I’ve lived most of my life in a sort of “scarcity” mindset.
(As I think through this concept, I wonder if maybe discussing the WHY behind “we don’t have the money for that” and expanding to explain that we DO have money, but that we are CHOOSING to spend our money in other areas or SAVE our money for other things might help our kids be able to view money differently and lessen that “scarcity” mindset… but this is a different discussion altogether… ha)
We (thankfully) came into marriage with almost no debt and are now debt-free except for AP’s car (a whole other discussion and something we learned a lot of lessons through) and our mortgage at this point, but I have also seen in others the terrifying reality of outrageous debt and how hard that is in so many ways.
I think off the top of my head, I’d say that my current motivation for frugality is mostly:
- We are NOT okay with going into debt (living our lives in a manner beyond our means and, in turn, building up credit card debt) simply because we don’t want to take the time and make the effort to be better/more intentional in not over-spending. That feels lazy, unwise and irresponsible to us.We know first-hand that there are times and circumstances that make credit card dependency a necessity for people for a season (and praise the Lord for it BEING an option in emergencies), but that’s not the case for our current situation. We know it would be because of unwise decisions and choices for us in our current season.
- We REALLY want to save enough (though we are far from it at the moment) to sell our current house and buy in a town close-by before our oldest kiddo hits middle school. We know that in order to make that goal a reality, we have to do everything we can to save all we can or it will be a decade before we get there.
I totally understand the “overwhelm” she mentioned feeling. I STILL FEEL IT sometimes. It’s a really hard thing to let go of (it’s gotta be like a mild case of PTSD or something).
Honestly, I think knowing that feeling, and knowing that there IS A WAY OUT OF IT and there IS A WAY to not HAVE to feel that every day/week/month/paycheck is why I do what I do and why I’m so passionate about sharing my “ticket out” with everyone I can.
I truly love to help other mamas get their family’s finances in order into a sustainable and practical system because YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS to focus your energy, time and stress on! 😉
It’s why I’m putting SO many hours every day into completing this Sustainable Budgeting Blueprint course before my launch at the end of the month – because I KNOW that it will change lives.
I know firsthand how this system can pull people out of the terrifying downward spiral of suffocation that one can feel from the pressure of their household budget being out of sorts and not knowing what to “fix” first. Having no plan. Losing hope.
I HATE the thought of the people I care about (that includes YOU) having to feel the weight and crushing anxiety caused by uncertainty surrounding their family’s money. As I told her the other day, it literally make me breathe hard and start to tear up thinking about it because I’ve BEEN there!
It’s awful, and I want to help as many people as I can say “goodbye!” to that feeling forever!!
I knew the easiest way for me to help move y’all from that place into the place of confidence that I feel in our budgeting system now (we literally always know exactly where we stand) would be for me to lay it all out – step by step.
…For me to do as much of it FOR you as I could so that you wouldn’t have to hodge-podge information from a billion different people and blogs and google searches in order to try to figure out something that MIGHT work (like I did for YEARS).
Anyhow.
Before I start (keep?) rambling, I’m going to shut this down.
I hope any of this has been helpful to you. I hope it’s given you some hope. I hope it helps you to put words to how you might be feeling and to not feel so alone in it.
I guarantee you are not alone in your feelings toward your money.
How can I help? Let me know.
I DO want to make sure that you know about a FREE web class that I will be opening up registration for THIS COMING WEDNESDAY.
It’ll be a free hour-or-so long class talking all about “FAMILY BUDGETING SIMPLIFIED: 3 Simple Steps to Move From Anxiety + Overwhelm Into Confidence + Peace Surrounding Your Family’s Money”
…So if this blog post struck a chord with you, be sure that you’re on my email list so you don’t miss the dates/times to sign up next week!!
Drop your email right here if you want me to send you an invitation to this free web class next week!
